dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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