I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize