I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You ruined the universe
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
