what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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