therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
