i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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