I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
