Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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