So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he thought i was a dude.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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