I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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