i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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