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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
