I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize