She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
