Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we made out on top of his cat.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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