He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
