There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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