just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
