The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
