let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He better not be in your backpack
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
