Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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