NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
