At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
