alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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