escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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