How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
