I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
