How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
