is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
