i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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