She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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