Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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