i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
