I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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