Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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