she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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