He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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