Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm at about main and main street
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just blew my weed a kiss
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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