walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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