I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
