I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize