i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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