She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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