I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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