Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
