He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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