Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
