I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My pussy is not your playground.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
