I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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