Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
