is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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