I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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