I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
