after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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