would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
