The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
