i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
