My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
