For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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