I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
