Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize