Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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