O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize