We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
