I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize