May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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