i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
