Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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