You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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