That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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